Successful Relationships Workshop at The Chapel (Akron Campus)
Fridays at 7pm - January 13 - March 2, 2012
In the Auditorium at the Akron Campus
$35 registration fee ($40 after Jan. 4th)
330/315-5517
the-chapel.org/adults/singles
Grief Recovery Workshop at Canton First Friends Church
Tuesdays at 7pm - January 17 - March 6, 2012
$25 registration fee ($30 after Jan. 10th)
330/966-2800
firstfriends.org
Divorce Recovery Workshop at Dueber Church (Canton)
Mondays at 7pm - March 5 - April 23, 2012
registration fee, tba
330/456-8357
www.dueber.org
The Life You've Always Wanted at NewPointe Community Church (Canton Campus)
Spiritual Disciplines small group for single adults
meeting at the church at NewPointe-Canton
Thursdays at 6:30pm - February 16 - April 19
330/602-5600
newpointe.org
I Will Come to Your Singles Event!
As you can see, I am guest speaking at various churches.
If your church might be interested in hosting a workshop, visit here: singlespastor5.blogspot.com
Eight different 8-week workshops for single adults (or weekend conferences) to choose from. Let's talk!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
The 99%
99% of our bad relationship and dating experiences either come from not seeking God beforehand, compromising, not heeding red flags, rushing into things, and/or wrong motives.
The person God has for you will meet you where your are in life, love you unconditionally, and will walk hand in hand beside you to be who God has called the two of you to be.
Don't settle for less than that!
- Broderick Walton (adapted by CH)
The person God has for you will meet you where your are in life, love you unconditionally, and will walk hand in hand beside you to be who God has called the two of you to be.
Don't settle for less than that!
- Broderick Walton (adapted by CH)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Things I Have Been Learning about Boundaries
A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty;
rescue them, and you will have to do it again. - Proverbs 19:19, NIV
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. - C.S. Lewis
If they keep saying that they are sorry but do the same thing over and over again, then saying that they are sorry just becomes another lie!
Some doors are meant to be closed and when you try to reopen them, you remember why you closed them.
There comes a time when you can't allow your friends' and family members' problems to become your problems.
Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life!
In order for someone to "ruin" your day, week, month or life, you have to allow them!
Control is not respect. Control is not love. Having control of someone will not make them love or respect you, it will only make them resent you!
My prayer: Lord if you don't change the situation, change me! - Kimberly Jones
When you are struggling, and you feel stress, don't say, "God is in charge, I'm just fine." Then it's impossible for others to support you. Instead, say, "God is in charge, but I need support." Then good things happen. That's how it works. - Dr. John Townsend
Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.
A sign you're growing in grace: You don't rescue people as often or as quickly from the pain of growth. - Scotty Smith
No wonder you don't have anything to offer Mr./Miss Right:
You give keep giving all of yourself to Mr./Miss Wrong!
If you feel like a prisoner, that's not a relationship--that's called slavery!
Boundaries are a must in your relationships because they help you navigate risks.
Boundaries are a must in dating because they serve as your borders which define and protect you.
Boundaries are a must in dating because they help you be yourself so you don't get lost in someone else.
Boundaries are a must in dating because they help you choose better people who will help you become a better person. - Kenny Pugh
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. - Proverbs 4:23, NIV
Only follow your heart if you have control over your emotions. If your heart isn't right following it will simply lead to self-destruction. - Pierre Jeanty
Nothing will sabotage your Life Mission faster than a wrong relationship. - Rick Warren
Anyone who is available all of the time is not available any of the time. - Elton Trueblood
Don’t undertake “missionary dating.” If a person doesn't have the same beliefs as you, your emotions will connect but your spiritual side will experience a disconnect. - Craig Henry
Often when we confront, our emotions cloud our thinking. The best way to confront someone is by being as clear and direct as possible. This should not be done in a condescending way or in an aggressive attacking way. - Chad Stutzman
There are two kinds of pain:
Now pain is when you face reality and do life the hard way.
Later pain is when you avoid hard things, and suffer later.
Now pain always trumps later pain. - Dr. John Townsend
It's great to have options, but you should refuse to be one. - Kimberly Jones
A healthy relationship takes equal effort from BOTH parties:
Stop chasing people who don't want to be caught.
It takes two healthy people to create a healthy relationship. - Mandy Hale
You can't live your life based just on what everyone else thinks. - Joyce Meyer
When you pick something you'd sacrifice everything for, make sure it would sacrifice everything for you. - Bob Goff
Don't change for someone to like you, be yourself and the right people will love you.
Never settle for "layaway love," where they put you on hold until they're ready to come back & get you. You're worth more. - Mandy Hale
Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person that you want most is the person that you're best without. - RelationsMentor
A relationship without expectations is not a relationship.
Who you follow determines what follows you. The company you keep determines what accompanies you!
Bad company ruins good morals. - 1 Corinthians 15:33, ESV
He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm. - Proverbs 13:20, NASB
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers. - Psalm 1:1, ESV
Tell courage it doesn't need to knock at your door any longer; have it walk into your life every day like it owns the place. - Bob Goff
I can't control anyone else's plane. But I can choose my airspace. - Steven Furtick
Wrong people don't always leave your life voluntarily. Sometimes, they need help finding the door. - Kimberly Jones
God created you to connect and ask for support from good and safe people, who will lift you up when you fall (Ecclesiastes 4:10). Safe people love you just as you are, but they want you to be better as well. Who are your safe people? You only need a few. Be one, too. - John Townsend
Missing someone is not an indication that you need to be with them. - Reverend Run
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
rescue them, and you will have to do it again. - Proverbs 19:19, NIV
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. - C.S. Lewis
If they keep saying that they are sorry but do the same thing over and over again, then saying that they are sorry just becomes another lie!
Some doors are meant to be closed and when you try to reopen them, you remember why you closed them.
There comes a time when you can't allow your friends' and family members' problems to become your problems.
Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life!
In order for someone to "ruin" your day, week, month or life, you have to allow them!
Control is not respect. Control is not love. Having control of someone will not make them love or respect you, it will only make them resent you!
My prayer: Lord if you don't change the situation, change me! - Kimberly Jones
When you are struggling, and you feel stress, don't say, "God is in charge, I'm just fine." Then it's impossible for others to support you. Instead, say, "God is in charge, but I need support." Then good things happen. That's how it works. - Dr. John Townsend
Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.
A sign you're growing in grace: You don't rescue people as often or as quickly from the pain of growth. - Scotty Smith
No wonder you don't have anything to offer Mr./Miss Right:
You give keep giving all of yourself to Mr./Miss Wrong!
If you feel like a prisoner, that's not a relationship--that's called slavery!
Boundaries are a must in your relationships because they help you navigate risks.
Boundaries are a must in dating because they serve as your borders which define and protect you.
Boundaries are a must in dating because they help you be yourself so you don't get lost in someone else.
Boundaries are a must in dating because they help you choose better people who will help you become a better person. - Kenny Pugh
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. - Proverbs 4:23, NIV
Only follow your heart if you have control over your emotions. If your heart isn't right following it will simply lead to self-destruction. - Pierre Jeanty
Nothing will sabotage your Life Mission faster than a wrong relationship. - Rick Warren
Anyone who is available all of the time is not available any of the time. - Elton Trueblood
Don’t undertake “missionary dating.” If a person doesn't have the same beliefs as you, your emotions will connect but your spiritual side will experience a disconnect. - Craig Henry
Often when we confront, our emotions cloud our thinking. The best way to confront someone is by being as clear and direct as possible. This should not be done in a condescending way or in an aggressive attacking way. - Chad Stutzman
There are two kinds of pain:
Now pain is when you face reality and do life the hard way.
Later pain is when you avoid hard things, and suffer later.
Now pain always trumps later pain. - Dr. John Townsend
It's great to have options, but you should refuse to be one. - Kimberly Jones
A healthy relationship takes equal effort from BOTH parties:
Stop chasing people who don't want to be caught.
It takes two healthy people to create a healthy relationship. - Mandy Hale
You can't live your life based just on what everyone else thinks. - Joyce Meyer
When you pick something you'd sacrifice everything for, make sure it would sacrifice everything for you. - Bob Goff
Don't change for someone to like you, be yourself and the right people will love you.
Never settle for "layaway love," where they put you on hold until they're ready to come back & get you. You're worth more. - Mandy Hale
Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person that you want most is the person that you're best without. - RelationsMentor
A relationship without expectations is not a relationship.
Who you follow determines what follows you. The company you keep determines what accompanies you!
Bad company ruins good morals. - 1 Corinthians 15:33, ESV
He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm. - Proverbs 13:20, NASB
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers. - Psalm 1:1, ESV
Tell courage it doesn't need to knock at your door any longer; have it walk into your life every day like it owns the place. - Bob Goff
I can't control anyone else's plane. But I can choose my airspace. - Steven Furtick
Wrong people don't always leave your life voluntarily. Sometimes, they need help finding the door. - Kimberly Jones
God created you to connect and ask for support from good and safe people, who will lift you up when you fall (Ecclesiastes 4:10). Safe people love you just as you are, but they want you to be better as well. Who are your safe people? You only need a few. Be one, too. - John Townsend
Missing someone is not an indication that you need to be with them. - Reverend Run
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
“Being in Love” vs. True Love
Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life.
It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Ceasing to feel “in love” with someone does not mean that you have to stop loving them.
Love in a second sense—true love, as distinguished from “being in love”—is not merely a feeling. It is maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit.
People can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; even when each might easily “fall in love” with someone else.
- C.S. Lewis
Saturday, September 10, 2011
7 Common Mistakes in Relating to the Opposite Sex
from the book Common Mistakes Singles Make, by Mary Whelchel
Mistake 1:
We misinterpret the attentions of the opposite sex.
Mistake 2:
We put up with too much in a relationship and hang on too long.
Mistake 3:
We’re not always very good at reading danger signals in a relationship.
Mistake 4:
We get physically involved much too soon and go too far.
Mistake 5:
We think that the only necessary requirement for a date or mate is that he or she is a Christian.
Mistake 6:
We carry our list of requirements for a relationship with us and judge others too quickly and selfishly.
Mistake 7:
We think that anything is better than being alone.
Mistake 1:
We misinterpret the attentions of the opposite sex.
Mistake 2:
We put up with too much in a relationship and hang on too long.
Mistake 3:
We’re not always very good at reading danger signals in a relationship.
Mistake 4:
We get physically involved much too soon and go too far.
Mistake 5:
We think that the only necessary requirement for a date or mate is that he or she is a Christian.
Mistake 6:
We carry our list of requirements for a relationship with us and judge others too quickly and selfishly.
Mistake 7:
We think that anything is better than being alone.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Can that special someone make you happy?
If you are looking to a partner
to make you feel worthwhile,
to make you happy,
to rescue you from an unhappy life,
if you are seeking someone to make you feel complete--
well then you have some work to do,
because these are needs that are never going to be met
by any one other than yourself.
To put those demands on someone else is to
set the relationship up for failure.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Personal Growth = Relational Wholeness
Happy, well-adjusted people tend to have happy, well-adjusted relationships.
- Dick Innes
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Trust
Someone has defined friendship as “knowing the heart of another and sharing one’s heart with another.” We share our hearts with those we trust, and trust those who care about us. We confide in our friends because we have confidence that they will use the information to help us, not harm us. They in turn confide in us for the same reason.
- Julie Link, Our Daily Bread
Monday, July 25, 2011
Relationship Give-and-Take
Do a relationship inventory:
- what % are people I am sourcing (mentoring, caring for, training, parenting),
- what % are people who are sourcing me, and
- what % are mutual friends with a lot of give and take?
You need some in each group to be balanced. - John Townsend
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