I surveyed nearly 1000 Christian single adults and asked them 8 questions. (I was doing research for my doctoral dissertation, which resulted in conceptualizing and implementing SRW).
The first question I asked was,
What qualities do you find most attractive in a potential friend? (list your top five)
The top ten responses to this question were as follows (with totals of votes for each category):
Men's votes:
1. Christian 109
2. Honesty 97
3. Sense of humor/Fun 77
4. Understanding 71
5. Common interests 62
6. Communication 56
7. Intelligent 46
8. Positive 40
9. Interesting 36
10. Loyal/Faithful 34
Women's votes:
1. Sense of humor/Fun 352
2. Christian 309
3. Honesty 308
4. Understanding 262
5. Communication 173
6. Trustworthy 132
7. Common interests 122
8. Friendly/Outgoing 91
9. Positive 90
10. Loyal/Faithful 90
Notice the differences between the men’s scores and the women’s scores and we see some interesting trends.
First, I thought it was interesting that, in spite of the general assumption in our society that women are more religiously inclined, that to Christian single men having spiritual common ground in their friendships is most important while for the women surveyed, it comes in second behind the trait of having a sense of humor and being fun to be around.
It was also interesting that intelligence (#6) and being an interesting person (#9) make the men’s top ten traits, but they do not for women. Women rank trustworthy as high as sixth place while that trait does not appear in the men’s top ten. Likewise, being friendly and outgoing ranks eighth for women but are not in the men’s list.
When the men’s and women’s answers were combined, it became apparent that there are four traits that are significantly more important to Christian single adults: fun and laughter, spiritual compatibility, honesty, and understanding. (It should be noted that the composite scores are somewhat skewed since more than twice as many women took the survey than men.)
Composite of men's + women's votes:
1. Sense of humor/Fun 429
2. Christian 418
3. Honesty 405
4. Understanding 333
5. Communication 229
6. Common interests 184
7. Trustworthy 162
8. Positive 130
9. Loyal/Faithful 124
10. Friendly/Outgoing 120
copyright 2012, Craig Henry
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